Warning: This post may include my random rants, but please bear with it, it gets all positive in the end.
I woke up today with a bad headache and a heavy heart. It is not the first time though. This past months I’ve been waking up to the exact same feeling. Maybe it’s because I feel like I have no sense of direction at all. I guess this is what you call “Quarter-Life Crisis”. If there is such thing, then this is probably it.
I am 22 and by now I thought I already realized what I am supposed to do with my life and what person I should be. But No, I feel like back in square one, I feel like I am the same 19 y/o girl who just stepped out of college.
I just really thought by now, I have figured out everything and I’m making a mark for myself. But the only mark I have is the mark of the sheets in my face after a long sleep. I wanna be somebody that matters, I wanna do stuff that matters. And I thought by now, I have done that.
I know, maybe you are thinking, What’s the rush? And that 22 is still young for me to feel hopeless. But I feel like I’m running out of time. This sounds crazy, I know. I am still trying make sense of it all.
I am trying to look on the positive side of this feeling, and I have come to the realization that this feeling, It’s what pushed me start blogging. I thought maybe channeling my energy into something else other than obsessing about my future, will help me and maybe it will also help others who are feeling loss or hopeless. Maybe someday, the things I write about will matter not only to me, but to other people who are reading this. There are so many possibilities in life, and I realized I should dwell on the negative side of my life.
Sure, some people have it easier than I have. But then again I realized, If I hadn’t had the experiences and sadness that I have, then what would I have to write about?