Disclaimer: I think I already mentioned this in my previous entries in case I haven’t… Let me just clarify. I am not expert ony guys and relationship and I am not even expert on my job so I am not saying that everything written here is scientifically-proven. These are just figments of my mind’s never ending battle to think and analyze the words I hear, the notes I see, and the stories that were relayed to me. I am hoping that this post help those who are experiencing this kind of situation. 🙂
You see I have been hearing and reading about guys who are always STUCK in the FRIEND ZONE. For those of you who aren’t aware of what the FRIEND ZONE means…..
It is some kind of a untangible friendship boundary of some sort that some guys really wanted to cross but they cannot. It happens when a guy likes a girl that he is good friends with and he get stuck up with this friendship wall that he cannot even tell her how he feels and the girl doesn’t even have a clue that he likes her. To her, he is just a good friend that is always there for her and any idea of romance does not even cross her mind. She just never really thinks of him in a romantic way and the guy pretends that he doesn’t think of her in that way as well, but he is only fooling himself. He just stays friends with her though he wanted to be more than that, hence, the friend zone.
In short, the guys in the friend zone are always the “GOOD GUY FRIENDS” but never the ones that the girls fall for.
Here are the reasons that I can think of why guys in the FRIEND ZONE remains in the FRIEND ZONE:
1. You are still in the friend zone because…
YOU ARE TOO AFRAID TO TAKE CHANCES!
Yes. You are too scared that you won’t get the response that you are expecting so you’d rather stay back and watch other guys make their way to her heart. You are always afraid that saying what you really feel because it may ruin your friendship. Hello! Yes, if she doesn’t feel the same way then it might cause a little awkwardness but if you guys are really friends then you guys will find a way back to being better friends. You just have to accept the fact that she just thinks of you as a friend and nothing more. And eventually let your feelings go and then strengthen the friendship even more. But if she likes you back then BINGO!
2. You are still in the FRIEND ZONE because…
YOU TREAT HER LIKE SHE’S ONE OF YOUR GUY FRIENDS.
Just because you want to look cool and you don’t wanther to figure out that you like her, you try your best to treat her like she is one of your bros. Calling her dude, bro, homey, and what not. Telling her about this imaginary girl that you’ve been crushing on. Teaching her the fist pump or secret handshake and all other guys stuff that you do with your boys.
Guess what??? You sure succeeded in hiding your feelings but you also succeeded in helping her cross you out in her romantic meter. Good Job!
3. You are still in the friend zone because…
YOU ALWAYS MAKE YOURSELF AVAILABLE FOR HER!
One call and you’ll immediately drop everything that you are doing just to attend to whatever it is that she needs. She needs someone to help her move the furnitures in her house, you’ll be there. She needs someone to look after her dog, you’ll take care of her dog. She’s having trouble with her project, you’ll volunteer to help her out… Normally, that is a good thing…. IF YOU GUYS ARE ALREADY TOGETHER. But since you guys are not together yet, you should try be a good friend sometimes learn to say no or learn how to say yes without sounding too enthusiatic about it. 🙂 In that way, you seem a little mysterious and a little unpredictable and you’ll raise her interest. REMEMBER THE GOAL IS TO MAKE YOU “HER GUY” first then be her “GO-TO GUY”. Not the other way around. 🙂
4. You are still in the friend zone because…
YOU EVEN TRY TO SET HER UP WITH ANOTHER GUY THOUGH YOUR INSTINCTS ARE TELLING YOU NOT TO.
Being a good friend that you always are, you even try setting her up with your freind that she likes or with a friend of yours who likes her. That is just totally BAT SHIT CRAZY, MEN! That’s a very uncomfortable thing to do so never everdo that! And if you already did then please do not repeat it. Again, Learn how to say no! If you can’t take the sight of her in some other guy’s arms then do not ever try to make that possible!
***There you go! I hope that helps.
In summary, to get yourself out of the FRIEND ZONE!
1. Be a MAN!
2. Summon up all the courage in the world and tell her how you feel. If she says yes then good. If she says no, then even better because now you know that you being in the friend zone is not your fault, that means she just really wants you to there and then just be friend. You will soon find someone who is willing to be your friend and much more willing to be your lover. 🙂
3. If you confess and it didn’t work out, Don’t lose hope. 🙂
Since I posted yesterday about the kinds of guy every girl should not look for so I think I owe it to the guys to write about the kinds of girl every guy should not look for. So here it is:
1. MS. Price is right a.k.a Gold diggers
Ofcourse, I think every guy should be careful the gold diggers. This girls can be undeniably charming most of the times and guys just couldn’t say NO to their every requests. You have to know how to spot the gold diggers, they are the ones that are so into expensive objects and into money itself. They always ask you to buy stuff for them. Everytime you two are together you will spend tons of money in order to give here everything that she asks for. If you are rich and you have all the money to spend, please don’t date a gold digger. Just donate your money to Charity or something. 🙂
2. MS. EASY BREEZY Imma date all the hot guys a.k.a The ULTIMATE PLAYER
PLAYERS are the woman counterpart of WOMANIZERS. They are known for taking every thing they can get. They date around as if it is a hobby or something. They are the ones who can’t keep track of ht guys they went out with. If your not looking for something serious and you just want t play around as well, then you two can play that game. But If you are looking for something serious the she’s definitely not the girl for you.
3. MS. Non-stop jelly Imma check your phone, Imma check your email, Imma check your beeper, or even your diary if you have one a.k.a. Insanely Jealous
We all get jealous. Its normal to feel that way but if a girl gets an extra dose of the super mega duper JEALOUSY potion then that’s where the real problem begins. The insanely jealous ones always feel threatened. They act as if every girl is bound to stole you from her. She may play it cool sometimes but deep inside she has this crazy ideas as to how she can make absolutely sure that you only have her in your mind. She’s jealous of every one aroound her. You can’t be friends with a girl because that will be a red signal. Due to her overflowing jealousy she may result to invading your personal space by checking your phone messages or emails, and evereything else that she can get her hands on. Seriously, If a girl loves you the she should TRUST you.
4. MS. BOXED OUT YOU CAN”T GO ANYWHERE WITHOUT ME KNOWING a.k.a The FEELING WARDEN
There’s nothing wrong with being possessive but if you’re gonna date the FEELING WARDEN then be ready to be controlled. WARDENS are usually the ones who want to know every single detail about you and where you’re going and who you’re with. Sometimes they would even go to the extreme of not allowing you to go some place her going with you. They are the jealous ones who wants to put the law into their own hands by dictating what are the things you should do or not do. They are the ones who will make a big deal about you hanging out with friends without her. They keep on texting and monitoring your every move. It’s like having an ankle monitor. So if you love your freedom, the don’t date a FEELING warden. 🙂
5. Ms. I want to be with to be with you every nanosecond of everyday a.k.a THE CLINGY
When you love someone, it is perfectly normal that you want to spend time with that person but for the”CLINGY” girls, itd different. They want to be with you literally every single nanosecond of your life. They wanted to go on all places you are going. They will invade your time with your boys and when you two aren’t together she will bombard you with her calls and sweet messages. She woulld also want to bring you in every activity that she has. ALthough, you should be thankful that she only has her eyes set on you but this kind of behavior is not healthy. Two people can fall in love and still keep their individuality and personal space. You should find a girl who wants to be with you but also understand that you are two individuals and you have your own lives. 🙂
6. Ms. I’m right and your wrong so don’t bother argue with me a.k.a. CONTROL FREAK
This type of girl wants to be in control of every situation that you guys have. She will most likely not listen to whatever it is that you have to say, she just listens to herself. When you are right you’re wrong, when she is right, she’s right! When you are wrong, you’re wrong, When she’s wrong, she’s STILL RIGHT! That’s how it is with her. Your relationship will be mostly about how you lost to every arguments that you guys have. You will argue endlessly, you will even argue because of very little things like when you are driving and she asked you to take a different route and you ended up in traffic or when she specifically asks you to wear a sky blue shirt and your just wearing blue. So if you don’t have your game face and if you’re not ready to lose every single time, then don’t date the control freaks! 🙂
COPYRIGHT JUNE 2012
Here’s my list of the kinds of guy that every girl shouldn’t look for. Maybe some of you will/will not agree with it. But thanks for still reading it.
Disclaimer: This is just my opinion and something I have wriitten due to my boredom.
And for the guys, Please don’t be offended about what’s wriitten here. I know most of you guys are not perfect but most are respectable and decent and faithful. I said MOST and NOT ALL because there some who do not posses those positive attributes and possess the opposites of it.
I hope this can serve as a guide or whatever. 🙂
1. “Mr. I am a Ladies’ Man” a.k.a. Womanizers
Yes. That’s Numero Uno on my list. There’s a diffrence with being friendly and being a womanizer. Although some guys use their friendliness as an excuse to be around girls all the time. You can differentiate womanizers to the naturally friendly ones by being observant. Womanizers are the ones who are in constant look outfor the so called “hot chicks”. They always want to be seen doing stuff that they think is cool and saying things that they thought women would like to hear. They are the ones who take every opportunity they have to be with a girl/s that’s on their radar. So if you have seen these traits to a guy you like, then I’ve got two word for you, STAY AWAY!
2. “MR. Big shot look at my car” a.k.a. The Car Slave
Yes. I get it. Guys are more passionate about cars and girls appreciate that. There’s nothing wrong with loving cars just as long as you know where the boundaties are. However, If a guy just can’t shut the hell up about his car and talks more about his car than the other stuff that you two should talk about then WALK AWAY. Clearly, that guy is more into his car than into you. Or when guys brag about their car to each other in front of you
Dude1: Yeah dude, I just got it detailed. Real sleek finish! Cost me a lot of money just in the exterior.
Dude2: I feel yah dude, I spent tons of money just in the wheels. I want it blacker than everyone else’s.
Dude1: That’s sweet! I thinking about getting a bigger engine. Bigger and noisier, blah blah.
Seriously, DON’T DATE A GUY LIKE THAT!
3. Mr. BRAG ME TO HELL a.k.a THE BRAGGERS
We all brag every once in a while but if the bragging is uncontrolable then it will be very Obnoxios and absurd. Braggers are the ones who just never stop showing off. Like they have they inflated heads to top their inflated egso. They brag about simple things like their clothes, their shoes, their sexual conquests, their manhood, their psychotic streaks and every other thing that you can think of. They even brag about their vices and misdemeanors. I don’t even need to reason out as to why you shouln’t date the braggers because the description itself can put the fire out. DON’T DATE A BRAGGER UNLESS YOU ARE AN UNCONTROLABLE BRAGGER YOURSELF. 🙂
4. Mr. Sexually Pre-Occupied a.k.a SPO
It is normal to think about sex, it is human nature. But when a guy has nothing but sex on his mind then that’s a NO-NO! If a guy tells everyone about his sexual escapades or if a guy speaks non-stop about girls in graphic terms or every time he opens his mouth words of highly sexual nature comes out of it then you shouldn’t date him, especially if you are looking for something serious and something meaningful.
5. Mr. I already said I do on the altar a.k.a the Married ones
I don’t really need to explain this as well. So if you don’t want any headaches or troubles then don’t date the married ones!
6. Mr. I accepted your shitty past so you have no right to complain a.k.a Plastics
Yes there are some guys who will use your past to make you feel bad about yourself and lower your self-esteem. They are the ones who pretend that they are really good to accept whatever it is that you’ve done in the past, Only to find out later that every time he commits a mistake,he will constantly remind you of how he accepted your past. And if you’re dating a guy like this, then here’s a reality check: HE NEVER REALLY ACCEPTED YOUR PAST AND MAYBE HE NEVER WILL. If he has accepted your past then he wouldn’t use your past against you because whatever it is that you did before you met him, he cannot hold any hard feelings about it. If he really loves you, then he should love you for who you are. 🙂
I’m thinking about taking a few classes again…
I got my college degree in Nursing last 2009 and its 2012 already but I still haven’t put it to good use.
I’m thinking maybe I may never be able to use it at all.
Coming from a single pay-check household, it was almost a miracle that my mom was able to send me and my sister to college, considering we were living off her Public School teacher salary. Taking up nursing was never my idea, it was my mom’s. She thought it was the quickest way for me to land a job and probable work abroad.
I’m pretty sure most parents who asked their kids to take up nursing have the same reasons in mind.
But it didn’t worked out that way, Nurses here in the Philippines are over-flowing in numbers but the jobs available couldn’t even accomodate 10% of the population. Its hard to find a job for nurses, there was even a point when the hospitals are charging a fee for nurses who wants to work or be trained in their institution! Nurses who joined this program are called “VOLUNTEER NURSES/ TRAINEE NURSES.”
IMAGINE PAYING IN ORDER FOR YOU TO WORK? That’s just crazy, isn’t?
It went on for a few years until the government put a stop to it. But still is still as bad as it was. Although NOW, you don’t have to pay a joining fee or training fee, but still you get to work full time with just PHP100-250 (That’s US$ 2.5-5 per day) and some don’t even get paid. Some are affiliated for free and received nothing at all in return, not even benefits like health insurance, or meal allowances.
For those who were able to land a real nursing job or the so called “STAFF NURSE ITEM”, they are really lucky. Some of them VOLUNTEERED or were TRAINEE NURSES FOR MONTHS and even OVER a year until their respective hospitals decided to absorbed them as their own full-pledge staff nurses. SOME REALLY DESERVING TOPNOTCHERS got hired right on the spot. and JUST LIKE IN A LOT OF CASES, SOME KNOWS Someone who can pull the strings for them and get them an item. No matter how they got their own STAFF NURSE ITEM, it doesn’t matter, Being a nurse is already an honor. NURSING is a tough work and what makes it even tougher is that you are sacrificing a lot, you are over worked but you are under paid and under appreciated.
From what I have heard from my friends who are still pursuing nursing as a career, the salary of aRegular PRIVATE HOSPITALSTAFF NURSE ranges from PHP 9,000- 15,000 per month (That’s around US$200-350 per month )depending on the hospital that your affilated with. As for the GOVERNMENT STAFF NURSES it ranges from PHP 18,000-25,000 (Around US$ 400-550 per month), for the government nurses, it’s not a bad range but ofcourse the nurse-patient ratio is definitely higher and much heavier workload.
Some people asked me why I haven’t pursued nursing as a career. They said if I volunteered my service for a year then maybe I’d get a staff nurse item. And yeah, they are probably right, but I still chose not to. Mostly because I don’t want to remain a burden for my mom. I mean, she’s the one who’s gonna suffer if I volunteered. Imagine, She’ll have to give me money for the training fee and money for my transportation and meal expenses during the entire training/volunteering period. I have seen the things that she sacrficed in order for me to finish school and get my license. I think she’d sacrifice enough and I thought that now that I graduated its up to me to return the favor.
So I worked in non-nursing related industries in order to earn for myself and help out my mom.
I think I was able to that but I still don’t fill fulfilled. Like I needed to do something different with my life, I wanted to touch other people’s lives, be an inspiration and to just be able to help, and I could have done all that as a nurse but I hadn’t had the chance so now I’m thinking maybe I’d get a teaching certification.
Yes, I’m considering teaching as my new dream and in order for me to attain that I should enroll myself in the PROFESSIONAL TEACHING CERTIFICATION PROGRAM. The good thing about this program is that I can take it online and I can attend classroom discussion once a week, which means I can still work while studying. I’ve actually been thinking about it for almost a year but still haven’t enrolled because I want to be absolutely positive about it and waiting for my funds to be completed….
The good news is, 2-3 months from now I think I can be able to come up with the full payment for 1 semester and for the modules and other expenses.. I’m actually pretty excited about it, though it may empty my pocket, its my investment for my personal growth. 🙂
So do you guys think I should do it? Do you think I should get that teaching certification?
Or do you guys think I should just stick to the job I have now?
I need your opinions! 🙂