It is a very dark day today.
The sun barely shed its glow.
The wind is blowing relentlessly.
Like it is telling me something I shouldn’t know.
It is a very cold night tonight.
Weather that is so conducive for sleep.
I have always loved nights like this.
But tonight this coldness is keeping me stiff.
It is a really big world out there.
Seven billion people that are trying to find their ways.
Seven billion souls are still figuring out who they are supposed to be.
Seven billion beings trying to survive every day.
It is such a mystery that in there are seven biliion people in this planet.
Yet one still feels isolated from the everyone else.
All shacked up in the corner, invisble to the world.
Imagine, Seven Billion people, yet she faces the world alone.
Clouding up in thoughts
while mind speaks frightened words.
Whispers in the wind
but messages remain unheard.
The solitude of a man,
peaceful as the break of dawn.
In a solitary room,
where love was never on.
He has nowhere to go.
No one to turn to for advice.
He is on his own.
Watching himself demise.
Alone in the silence
Left out in the crowd.
With nothing but his thoughts
and the pain screaming loud.
Truth to be told,
I need you to hold.
My Hand, My Heart.
When can we even start?
Truth to be said,
You piled up in my head.
Your smile, Your skin.
My defenses are turning thin.
That’s the truth locked inside of me.
I am already setting it free.
Now that you have it in your hands…
Are you going to tell me, Where I should stand?
I think about how the sound of rain puts me in trance
The glow of the sun as it shines with each glance
The rhythm of the wind as it passes me by
The heartbreaking part when I said goodbye.
Scenic scenes I wish you still could see
The better one you hoped that I would be.
The things I did to make you proud.
Maybe you are still watching up above the clouds.
I think about those times I spent away from you
I can never get that back.
The love you had given me
though at times I lost track
I wished I was there enough for you.
because I know I wasn’t there enough.
I wished I could have given you more.
I wished I made you laugh.
One day, We will all meet up again.
I know you will love as you love me then.
P.S. Missing you Grandma.
That night that you left,
was the same night that I cried.
That day you were gone,
was the same day I had none.
You turned your back
and I turned away.
You lost your life
but the pain in me stayed.
Those years that passed,
I wonder how I made it through.
You broke my heart
yet you never had a clue.
There are lots of questions,
questions inside my head.
Why did you have to go?
You should have been with us instead.
Then I feel your hand,
pressed against mine.
Finally, I can see you.
and see your face shine.
But when I opened my eyes,
there was no you.
It was only a dream,
but I wished it was true.
You’re in my thoughts
but I’m alone with my doubts
There’s words in your silence
but I can’t figure it out.
You took a deep breath
while I was holding mine.
And all this time I wondered,
how can your eyes be so thine?
I glanced at you,
and now I never looked away.
Even when your not here,
you’re still the highlight of my day.
I wonder if you have someone there..
Do you think she’s the one?
At times when you need someone to be there for you,
Does she stay and hold you hand?
Maybe I just wonder about you most of the time.
I want to know how your day was.
I want to be able say goodnight.
But these things can’t happen
because I am nowhere in your sight.
It makes me wonder what pushed the brilliant author, T.H. White, to write those hauntingly painful words. It makes me want to ask him “Who broke your heart?”.
Well, I guess I will never know why he wrote those words. But I know why I can relate to it. It seems like an arrow was shot directly to my heart. There I go again, with my sad sobby words. Anyway, I think most of us at one point in our lives experienced giving the best of our hearts to people who can’t do the same for us.
And It is such a shame when you have so much love to give but the person you intend to give it to just couldn’t take it. But that’s how love works, you may never know if your love will ever be reciprocated. That’s what’s beautiful about it, the elements of mystery and surprise.
Loving is not a walk in the park especially if the object of affection does not love you in return.
But True love means not asking for something in return. It does not involve rushing to be in a relationship and it isn’t even about just finding someone to get you through your cold nights!
True love is about learning how to wait patiently for the perfect timing and for the person perfect for you. It’s about giving and giving even more. It’s about knowing that you found that one person that you want to spend you whole life with and making him feel always loved and wanted. Its about respecting yourself and the other person.
How I wish, we could all just find true love and live happily every after, just like in the movies.
But then Again, this is real life and life is what we make it and love like you have never been hurt before.