Disclaimer: I think I already mentioned this in my previous entries in case I haven’t… Let me just clarify. I am not expert ony guys and relationship and I am not even expert on my job so I am not saying that everything written here is scientifically-proven. These are just figments of my mind’s never ending battle to think and analyze the words I hear, the notes I see, and the stories that were relayed to me. I am hoping that this post help those who are experiencing this kind of situation. 🙂
You see I have been hearing and reading about guys who are always STUCK in the FRIEND ZONE. For those of you who aren’t aware of what the FRIEND ZONE means…..
It is some kind of a untangible friendship boundary of some sort that some guys really wanted to cross but they cannot. It happens when a guy likes a girl that he is good friends with and he get stuck up with this friendship wall that he cannot even tell her how he feels and the girl doesn’t even have a clue that he likes her. To her, he is just a good friend that is always there for her and any idea of romance does not even cross her mind. She just never really thinks of him in a romantic way and the guy pretends that he doesn’t think of her in that way as well, but he is only fooling himself. He just stays friends with her though he wanted to be more than that, hence, the friend zone.
In short, the guys in the friend zone are always the “GOOD GUY FRIENDS” but never the ones that the girls fall for.
Here are the reasons that I can think of why guys in the FRIEND ZONE remains in the FRIEND ZONE:
1. You are still in the friend zone because…
YOU ARE TOO AFRAID TO TAKE CHANCES!
Yes. You are too scared that you won’t get the response that you are expecting so you’d rather stay back and watch other guys make their way to her heart. You are always afraid that saying what you really feel because it may ruin your friendship. Hello! Yes, if she doesn’t feel the same way then it might cause a little awkwardness but if you guys are really friends then you guys will find a way back to being better friends. You just have to accept the fact that she just thinks of you as a friend and nothing more. And eventually let your feelings go and then strengthen the friendship even more. But if she likes you back then BINGO!
2. You are still in the FRIEND ZONE because…
YOU TREAT HER LIKE SHE’S ONE OF YOUR GUY FRIENDS.
Just because you want to look cool and you don’t wanther to figure out that you like her, you try your best to treat her like she is one of your bros. Calling her dude, bro, homey, and what not. Telling her about this imaginary girl that you’ve been crushing on. Teaching her the fist pump or secret handshake and all other guys stuff that you do with your boys.
Guess what??? You sure succeeded in hiding your feelings but you also succeeded in helping her cross you out in her romantic meter. Good Job!
3. You are still in the friend zone because…
YOU ALWAYS MAKE YOURSELF AVAILABLE FOR HER!
One call and you’ll immediately drop everything that you are doing just to attend to whatever it is that she needs. She needs someone to help her move the furnitures in her house, you’ll be there. She needs someone to look after her dog, you’ll take care of her dog. She’s having trouble with her project, you’ll volunteer to help her out… Normally, that is a good thing…. IF YOU GUYS ARE ALREADY TOGETHER. But since you guys are not together yet, you should try be a good friend sometimes learn to say no or learn how to say yes without sounding too enthusiatic about it. 🙂 In that way, you seem a little mysterious and a little unpredictable and you’ll raise her interest. REMEMBER THE GOAL IS TO MAKE YOU “HER GUY” first then be her “GO-TO GUY”. Not the other way around. 🙂
4. You are still in the friend zone because…
YOU EVEN TRY TO SET HER UP WITH ANOTHER GUY THOUGH YOUR INSTINCTS ARE TELLING YOU NOT TO.
Being a good friend that you always are, you even try setting her up with your freind that she likes or with a friend of yours who likes her. That is just totally BAT SHIT CRAZY, MEN! That’s a very uncomfortable thing to do so never everdo that! And if you already did then please do not repeat it. Again, Learn how to say no! If you can’t take the sight of her in some other guy’s arms then do not ever try to make that possible!
***There you go! I hope that helps.
In summary, to get yourself out of the FRIEND ZONE!
1. Be a MAN!
2. Summon up all the courage in the world and tell her how you feel. If she says yes then good. If she says no, then even better because now you know that you being in the friend zone is not your fault, that means she just really wants you to there and then just be friend. You will soon find someone who is willing to be your friend and much more willing to be your lover. 🙂
3. If you confess and it didn’t work out, Don’t lose hope. 🙂
My Random Convo with my dearest friend and fellow blogger Naiz a.k.a silly bluff.
Scene: We were so tired after shopping all day we decided to grab a bite. While eating…
(we call each other, ming! it’s like our bff code)
Naiz: Ming, Is it so weird that I have never been to Manila Ocean Park?
Me: No, not at all. I’ve never been there too. I mean, I went there once with my co-workers but we only ate in the resto, I’ve never been inside as well.
Naiz: Really? Maybe one of this days, I’ll go there.
Me: Ming, Yah, or maybe when I finally have bf, we’ll all go, you and your bf, and me and my future bf? lol. How about that? Promise you won’t go there until I have a bf then the 4 of us can go?
Naiz: No, Ming. Never mind. I don’t think I can wait that long. lol
Me: What are u talking about? I’m serious. Promise me?
Naiz: No. seriously. Sometimes I worry about you, not being able to find someone. I mean you are so choosy, or I don’t know maybe you just haven’t found your true love yet but I really hope soon you do.
Me: Hope so too. and you know I’m not choosy, I’m just waiting for love to happen. I don’t feel like settling for someone just because I need to have a relationship. I want something deep and true.
Naiz: Yeah, Right. You know I believe you but Still I’m not making that promise. lol
Lately, I’ve been thinking about the things that I should blog about. I wanted to be able to write about anything under the sun. I don’t want to be known as the blogger who only writes the sappy parts of her life. I wanted to write about life itself not only the sad partsof it but also the HAPPY MOMENTS of my it, especially the HAPPY MOMENTS!
So know I decided to write one NOW!
Last Friday,one of my dearest friend, Naiz, asked us to dinner, It was her advance celebration for her 24th birthday. (Her birthday is actually today so HAPPY BIRTHDAY, NAIZ!) Naiz, is my college friend and 3 years after graduation we’re sill close as ever, we see each other once in awhile and we always talked on the phone or through SMS. We also have this other friend named PONG, the three of us are bestfriends but we seldom see her because she lives really really far, and she’s been busy preparing for her med school life. So I was shocked and excited Naiz told me that she was coming to the dinner.
THE ACTUAL MEET-UP
So we were meeting in one of the Famous Malls in Manila, I left the house pretty late so I was kinda expecting to be the last one to arrive, and I was right. I got a text from Naiz telling me that everyone’s there and they were waiting for me. Good thing is that I was oonly 5-mins away when I received the text. I wanted to buy a book for her birthday because she loves reading as much as I do but I don’t want to keep ’em waiting longer so I decided not to. She told me they were waiting outside this store so I ran my way there and from afar, I easily recognized Naiz. She was with 3 others, One is Pong and the two are her new friends, Karen and Abby. So when I arrived, she introduced us to one another. I think everyone really liked each other because we immediately jel with each other. Swapping funny stories and all. We decided to each in Seafood Island, however, the odds are not in our favor, we went there and saw that It was closed for renovation. We were thinking fo going some place else but since it was already 9:30pm we decided to go to a nearby place called Gerry’s grill. At dinner, the real fun begins, we started talking about crazy things, from dieting, losing weight, to our old college days, and working days, and BOYS! Out of us 5, I was the only one single, all of them are in a relationship! They’ve been teasing me about it, they are all telling me to go on dates. They tagged me as choosy but I don’t think I am. Lol. And then Abi said something really crazy her words were ” You know what, You kinda looked like Megan Fox.” And I was like, “Say What???” lol. Seriously, If you see me, You’ll never say that about me, because I’m asian and I look asian, and MEGAN FOX?? Definitely not Asian. But somehow Abi got me convince and for a moment there, I actually believed her. It was a fun dinner, I think Naiz really enjoyed herself. I gave her 2 whitening soaps as a gift since I wasn’t able to buy her a book. But nonetheless, she is happy! One thing I liked about Naiz is that she always makes me feel appreciated. She is always grateful for the things I do and sometimes even for the things I failed to do. And I know she worries about getting old, she doesn’t like to be 24 but one thing’s for sure, whether she’s 24 or 42, I know we are always gonna be there for each other because that’s what friendship means. And as the Cliche goes, “we don’t get older, we get better.” So Here’s to another year of being better!
It was a good night.
I got to spend some time with my old friends.
I met new friends.
I learned lessons.
I enjoyed life.