I opened my eyes to a new morning.
I have nowhere to go but my spirit’s soaring.
No idea about what will happen today.
But I know there’s nothing that can cause dismay.
Good thoughts and nice flutter.
I feel the wind touching my face.
Such a very good feeling.
The air is my saving grace.
I feel most alive now.
With such a youthful drive.
I know life wouldn’t be easy.
But I don’t mind to strive.
I was never really an optimist
but it’s nice to be on for a change.
I don’t want to dwell on the bad
when positivitiy has an endless range.
Looking inside and wanting to belong,
Curled up in bed with heart beating strong.
Closed lip sighs, another pain locked away.
Vows you want to make but it was never the right day.
Taking a leap, you have been waiting for so long.
Immense in a state where heart is breaking in the sun.
Opened up yourself and wishing him to stay.
But he was never in love, he just cared anyway.
You tell yourself it’s okay. You tried to give your best shot.
But you were never okay with the fact that he loves you not.
You chose to put on a face. So determined, so willing, so brave.
But unraveling the mask, you are trapped in loneliness’s grave.
Crackling sounds of thunder is not helping your case.
Falling is a kind of blunder and believing is such a waste.
You were on the brink of giving up the love you always want.
But just before you were to cut ends loose, he extended his hand.
He reached to you and suddenly you feel no reason to be sad.
Your heart skipped a beat and you swore it was the best day you ever had.
Not just half-awake but wide awake. I have always thought of writing a novel. And for few occasions, I started writing, but halfway through the intro, I always feel that I am not ready. I have no formal training in writng and I always end up doubting myself and thinking that It will be a waste of time. Now I realized that doubting myself is an awful way of wasting time. I should have continued writing those unfinished works. I would have had, give or take two sucky unpublished novels by now but nonetheless I could have used all the experience that I could have gain in order to improve my craft and write something better but I was so scared to fail and be bad at it that I chose not to continue writing.
But I know now that Writing is way too important to give up just like that.
It is time for me to write my first novel and I know it will not be easy.
And maybe I will fail to do so, but what is life without taking risk?
I will write because it makes me feel good and it is something that I want to be good at.And when are passionate about something, you just need not question your abilities and just do it. And if in time, I will fail to finish this novel, It is comforting to know that I tried.
But I am kinda hoping that I will finish it. So I better start writing now. 🙂
SO this is ROOFTOPS by LOST PROPHETS.
From how I understand this song, its about being able to live your life to the fullest. It’s about living your life as if you were to die tomorrow. It’s about how we should take chances and to not be afraid to fail.
It’s about how we should not look back to the past with regrets. Our mistakes and shortcomings made us better and wiser.
I just love hearing this song because it is way too good to be ignored. Somehow, this song has its ways of making me feel positive about the future.
I hope we all get to live the rest of our lives in the best way possible.
Hope we all get the chance to have a “ROOFTOP moment” and just scream our hearts out! 🙂
I do not own the video.
I got it from youtube.
It makes me wonder what pushed the brilliant author, T.H. White, to write those hauntingly painful words. It makes me want to ask him “Who broke your heart?”.
Well, I guess I will never know why he wrote those words. But I know why I can relate to it. It seems like an arrow was shot directly to my heart. There I go again, with my sad sobby words. Anyway, I think most of us at one point in our lives experienced giving the best of our hearts to people who can’t do the same for us.
And It is such a shame when you have so much love to give but the person you intend to give it to just couldn’t take it. But that’s how love works, you may never know if your love will ever be reciprocated. That’s what’s beautiful about it, the elements of mystery and surprise.
Loving is not a walk in the park especially if the object of affection does not love you in return.
But True love means not asking for something in return. It does not involve rushing to be in a relationship and it isn’t even about just finding someone to get you through your cold nights!
True love is about learning how to wait patiently for the perfect timing and for the person perfect for you. It’s about giving and giving even more. It’s about knowing that you found that one person that you want to spend you whole life with and making him feel always loved and wanted. Its about respecting yourself and the other person.
How I wish, we could all just find true love and live happily every after, just like in the movies.
But then Again, this is real life and life is what we make it and love like you have never been hurt before.
Lately, I’ve been thinking about the things that I should blog about. I wanted to be able to write about anything under the sun. I don’t want to be known as the blogger who only writes the sappy parts of her life. I wanted to write about life itself not only the sad partsof it but also the HAPPY MOMENTS of my it, especially the HAPPY MOMENTS!
So know I decided to write one NOW!
Last Friday,one of my dearest friend, Naiz, asked us to dinner, It was her advance celebration for her 24th birthday. (Her birthday is actually today so HAPPY BIRTHDAY, NAIZ!) Naiz, is my college friend and 3 years after graduation we’re sill close as ever, we see each other once in awhile and we always talked on the phone or through SMS. We also have this other friend named PONG, the three of us are bestfriends but we seldom see her because she lives really really far, and she’s been busy preparing for her med school life. So I was shocked and excited Naiz told me that she was coming to the dinner.
THE ACTUAL MEET-UP
So we were meeting in one of the Famous Malls in Manila, I left the house pretty late so I was kinda expecting to be the last one to arrive, and I was right. I got a text from Naiz telling me that everyone’s there and they were waiting for me. Good thing is that I was oonly 5-mins away when I received the text. I wanted to buy a book for her birthday because she loves reading as much as I do but I don’t want to keep ’em waiting longer so I decided not to. She told me they were waiting outside this store so I ran my way there and from afar, I easily recognized Naiz. She was with 3 others, One is Pong and the two are her new friends, Karen and Abby. So when I arrived, she introduced us to one another. I think everyone really liked each other because we immediately jel with each other. Swapping funny stories and all. We decided to each in Seafood Island, however, the odds are not in our favor, we went there and saw that It was closed for renovation. We were thinking fo going some place else but since it was already 9:30pm we decided to go to a nearby place called Gerry’s grill. At dinner, the real fun begins, we started talking about crazy things, from dieting, losing weight, to our old college days, and working days, and BOYS! Out of us 5, I was the only one single, all of them are in a relationship! They’ve been teasing me about it, they are all telling me to go on dates. They tagged me as choosy but I don’t think I am. Lol. And then Abi said something really crazy her words were ” You know what, You kinda looked like Megan Fox.” And I was like, “Say What???” lol. Seriously, If you see me, You’ll never say that about me, because I’m asian and I look asian, and MEGAN FOX?? Definitely not Asian. But somehow Abi got me convince and for a moment there, I actually believed her. It was a fun dinner, I think Naiz really enjoyed herself. I gave her 2 whitening soaps as a gift since I wasn’t able to buy her a book. But nonetheless, she is happy! One thing I liked about Naiz is that she always makes me feel appreciated. She is always grateful for the things I do and sometimes even for the things I failed to do. And I know she worries about getting old, she doesn’t like to be 24 but one thing’s for sure, whether she’s 24 or 42, I know we are always gonna be there for each other because that’s what friendship means. And as the Cliche goes, “we don’t get older, we get better.” So Here’s to another year of being better!
It was a good night.
I got to spend some time with my old friends.
I met new friends.
I learned lessons.
I enjoyed life.
I want to be someone with unwavering faith.
Someone who believes that everything happens for a reason.
Someone who listens and never questions.
Someone who faces challenges without fears,
Because he just knows he can trust in Him.
But I am not that person, or at least not right now.
Because in times of deep troubles, I immediately bow.
My questions starts filling in, my frustrations filling me.
I just don’t understand why things are not what I want them to be.
I know it’s not right to be this way.
I’m supposed to trust His plans.
I’m supposed to kneel and pray.
I’m supposed to let Him lead my life.
and that’s not the case.
But Someday, I hope I can let go of my fears.
I hope somday I can just trust and believe.
I hope someday I’ll stop questioning and start listening.
I hope that day will come soon, because when it does,
I know I’ll be happy and that’s when I can say that I am now a woman of great faith.